the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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