This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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