Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
