please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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