No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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