I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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