Your tits are I can't wait for
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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