omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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