I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
