Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It all started with a game of naked twister.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
