I wish my penis had an off switch
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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