sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
