weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
