You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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