The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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