so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
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I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.