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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah, where have you been?

  (407): View more from Florida

  Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.

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• (518): View more from New York

  She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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• 

  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing

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• (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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• (310): View more from California

  Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.

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• 

  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk

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• (631): View more from New York

  Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole

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• (406): View more from Montana

  We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?

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• (951): View more from California

  Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."

  (713): View more from Texas

  Well thank god i want six autographed copies

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.

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