you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend