There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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