Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
