So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
