I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
