In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
