Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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