I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Enjoy the penises
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
