This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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