The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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