The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize