Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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