i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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