we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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