I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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