just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
