careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
