i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
