I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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