If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
