i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
