Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
