Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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