It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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