I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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