Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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