Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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