she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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