Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
