Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
