I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
