I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
