they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
