im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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