This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
