Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
