five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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