He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."