so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.