Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are