who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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