Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
