I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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