you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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