She's JV to your varsity
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
