accomplished twins. life is a go
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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