Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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