how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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